Phi Phillies

Because that's the kind of shit you say in a bar and people roll their eyes and make a mental note to never bring up baseball again.

If you're like me, you sit up in bed a lot, heart racing and cold-sweating. Tonight, there will actually be a reason, beyond snake-ridden night terrors.

Cardinals: 25-19 (5/24-5/27) This series was supposed to be a grudge match. The last time the Phillies saw the Cardinals they were celebrating all over our field with Ryan Howard lying broken and defeated at home plate. It’s a long season, but...

Just thinking out loud, though--maybe we shouldn't have socially awkward, self-important, cowardly introverts making all the important decisions of a baseball game.

"Hello, Bryce!" the Philadelphia media greeted him. "How are you adjusting to theKYAAAARRRGGHH." They too were gored.

Here is a Hot Water Music song; I hope it makes you feel better.

Join us, why don't you, as we speculate wildly. Or don't, if you said a good reason when I said "why don't you."...

Thanks for your frighteningly consistent patronage!

As a man in his mid-30s, the story of Rich Thompson hits close to home for me. There are days I still dream of playing professional baseball, of digging into the batter’s box against a big league pitcher, of getting up on a pitcher’s moun...

Speaking of wasting lives, you should probably do something shockingly original to balance out the sheer magnitude of your exposure to cliche just now.

GO BACK TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL FROM WHICH YOU SLITHERED YOU MANIACAL PARASITES!! AAAAAAAAA--...

THANKS, POLANCO!