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Phanatic to Once Again Frolic Across City Spreading Thick Layers of Joy, Feces

By: That Balls Outta Here

29Mar2012

Howard Smith-US PRESSWIRE For another year, handlers have sedated the Phanatic and dyed him a celebratory shade of red for “Paint the Town Red Week,” March 29 – April 3, leading up to MLB’s Opening Day.  And also for another...

Phanatic Seizes Power of Quiet West Florida Hamlet

By: That Balls Outta Here

7Mar2012

A forced ceremony took place in which the town surrendered it's key to their new overlord as he laughed and danced in open mockery of their suffering.

Phanatic to Reward Local Students for Doing Normal Things

By: That Balls Outta Here

31Jan2012

Now we've got a generation of people who will be looking over their shoulders in anticipation of a one-mascot party materializing because they successfully change a baby's diaper or didn't blast through a red light.

Phanatic Responsible For the Murder of Another Mascot

By: That Balls Outta Here

28Nov2011

How the hell is the Philadelphia fan base supposed to care about a mascot when they, not only cannot compete with the Phanatic, but can't compete with Mr.

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