Balls Deep

Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate...

I have a newborn son. He needs to be fed eight times a day. Each session of feeding him takes roughly 30 minutes, 20 if I'm lucky. I am usually not lucky. That's four hours of the day dedicated to sitting in a chair with a bottle, begging the bab...

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. More »...

I got this letter from Funbag reader Anthony, which seemed rather timely: More »...

I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrive...

I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrive...

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering mauling deaths, banana salad, immortal quarterbacks,...

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. More »...

I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a...

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering pie sex, musical terrorists, death hawks, and more.

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. More »...

We're getting close to graduation time, which means that it's time for America's college students and freeloading grad students to undertake the ultimately fruitless quest of begging corporate America for gainful employment. If you've ever searched...